40

Crystal says… Forty. Yup forty. Sounds funny. Let your full inner North Carolinian come out when you say it - faux - er - teeeeee. It's a dang dumpy word, I'm not gonna lie!

There is a huge group of us about to pass, just passed, still getting used to this milestone and I think we should talk about it. My sis and - I being "womb mates" and only 3 years apart - have similar experiences and totally different outcomes.

Like us - you're still that kid who rocked out to Bon Jovi and the Go Go's. That kid is surprised that you cut your hair and forgot all about acid wash. “Crystal”…that kid whines...”WHERE are your bangs??!! Christy - no pink shoes??!!”

There is an upside - look at all you've lived through. You now know exactly how much tequila NOT to drink. You know how to get cable hooked up. You can probably discuss everything from bursitis to baby poop with some sort of intelligence.  You'll never, ever (ever) do that thing to your eyebrows, wear that outfit or be too worried that the "in" crowd is having more fun than you. (If you are, freaking stop it and grow up already!)

You gained experience and some skills and survived a long haul.  Remember it and learn from it. Also remember the ones that started out just as we did and aren't here with us. They won’t get the joy of wrinkles and sore knees.

I'm proud to say that I no longer screw up my checkbook because the ATM said I had money. (I kept forgetting that checks take a little longer to clear.)  I know for a fact that my skills are worth more than $8 an hour. I have nieces and nephews that are PEOPLE, not just little lumps of humanity.   I wouldn't trade it. Instead I get to take all of these experiences - discard the bull hockey and treasure the lessons.

Do you remember you at 5? Goofy and joyful and you probably LOVED going to school.

Quick remember when you were 10. What did you look like, love and do?

Now move to 16 - how was your party? Who were your friends?
How many mix tapes were you given? Was high school graduation fun or forgotten? How many nicknames have you had? Now let me point out - that was just the first 18 years.

Move on to first serious love, remind you how tough college was, the nervousness of your first serious job, mortgage, childbirth. The first time meeting your Dad - OK that's maybe just me...

The first real loss in your life, divorce for some of us and the first time you got fired (Just me too??).  Try to remember sad tears and never forget the happy ones.

Good lord have mercy we've LIVED and we're only 40!

I celebrate that at this time in my life - the choices I make are MINE. Me the sum total of my experience is written on my face and I choose what I do next. (And I'll still rock out to Janet Jackson's "Control" if I want to!!)

Welcome to 40 - you made it! If the good lord grants, you get ANOTHER 40 and this time you have less acne and your parents can't tell you what to do! Well they can't make you anyway...

Lift your bifocal glasses and your saggy behinds high - I salute you and look forward to the next 40!  

Christy says…Happy Birthday little sister! As my friend Noury says, “Welcome to the land of many happy birthdays!” The good news is, now that you’re 40, you get to really, really be okay with who you are! I read it in the manual. The permission slip should be in your mailbox any day!

More birthdays are supposed to equate with increased wisdom…meaning, of course…that I am wiser than you ;), but you, Crystalsan have taught me so much. Like, what it’s like to wear bifocals. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself!

For real though…when we were little and both in trouble waiting for our mom to come home and punish us…I would sit on my bed in total fear, biting my nails just imagining what torments were ahead while you sat on your bed, totally relaxed, eating an apple, and enjoying a book. You knew how to live life even at 8! I pre-worried about things; you never did (probably why I have more grey hair than you!). I remember when you tried to explain a passage in Shakespeare to me and I just didn’t get it (and I thought you were wrong too). And, much later, when I finally got it, I was too embarrassed to tell you that you were right (which you already knew). There are so many things that I didn’t appreciate about you when we were younger because it took me a few years to understand what you understood all along (about MANY things). The depth of your understanding of the world always blew me away. Yes, I was older, but you were always wiser.

I want you to know how proud I am of you and how much in awe of you I STILL am. Happy fabulous birthday!!! I love you!